Out There

I don't want to be positive.
I don't want to have faith.
I don't want to be the constant defender of the human race.
I don't want to believe in love.
I don't want to get hurt anymore.

I want to be guarded.
I want to be jaded.
I want to be unfeeling.
I want to be uncaring.

Most of all, I just don't want to have to go through this again.
But I will, and I will for my entire life, because all of what I don't want to be, is all of who I am.