Trying To Forget Everything That Isn't You

i have an intense amount of hate for you at the moment.
its weird to me, to feel real anger... idk why though
and if i saw you,
part of me thinks i'd start a fight with you
but i doubt i really would
well, let's count ourself lucky then...

anywayyyy
im tired of the mini fights i have with my best friend all the time now
its no fun, and slightly depressing =/
i wish i wasnt messed up and i'd live like the normal person
so you could be happy with me and i'd make choices that will help with the future.
but at the moment, i just dont want to live like that
i can't drone myself into a normal routine. =/ sorry.

GOOD NEWS.
i saw her again :)
my super amazingly bestest friend ever ;)
i got to hang out with her from like 1am to 3:30am
being with her for that short amount of time is enough to make me happy for a lonnnnng while :)
oh well
i guess i'll be satisfied being happy for awhile :)

Me and Myself

have grudgingly come to an understanding, which is one where i've come to terms which how much i hate myself. Where i need to get over my stupid melodrama that is me. I need to grow up and get a job and get my license. All the shit that comes with growing up, because who i am now doesnt seem to be enough to survive.
but hey.
to bad i've never listened to me or myself.

A Worm

"I'm a worm with no more chances"

I am a worm
Why?
Cause I'm gross and dirty
But not in a bad way
More in a perfect for me way
I feel comfortable looking like a mess
Also
I'm on the bottom of the food chain
Or just extremely low
But still I persevere and survive
Despite all my short comings
Plus I hurt in the sun and dry up.
I'm a worm
And I'm happy to be crawling through life like one.

"HE, CRAWLS LIKE A WORM"

Black And White.

WEIRD F**KING DAY.
thats all.
..
.
.
..
...
jk.
anyway
bad news
i am going to kill someone
i.e casey.
because of what he did.
i think i might go insane.
anyway
happier note
and good news?
TAYLOR >>
and his crazyness
decided
I HAD
to talk to that girl who works at cumbeys.
and then i had like an 30 minute conversation with her.
:)
amazing.
can i see a future?
i have no idea :p
strange day

"time takes us all away"

My Remedy Will Be The Death Of Me

I think
all my favorite bands
are my favorite bands
because they create this self-destructive aura around me
and i think
i like that

"you'll be the death of me"

Memory

i can see my memories.
and in the end
i could never hate a memory.
just cry over one.
and,
i think it's time,
to let you become a memory..

Did you know?

I want to die.
I'm gonna make a really abstract movie.
And it will start and end with that being said.
I think
For now
I just want to fade away
So let me drown myself in a pool of my own blood
Waiting for the angels to turn me away

Lithium Iron

Lifes fucked.
I know what death looks like
And she's as pretty as hell
But to bad I have a girl to love here on earth
I can't just go cheating on my non existent relationship now can I?
Oh well
Winters out
Sarcasms in
The rivers lovely at night
Also in 90 degree weather daylight
Although even more tempting to swim in
Shark people happen to wear shark clothes
My hat is me
My nails are black
I am at home with myself
Only to renovate constantly
I was in front of people
I was also scared
Amazing people exit stage right
Awesome people find the back door
And strange ones never leave
Random people worry to much
I can lie my way to safety
Only to walk back into danger
I happen to like thin lines
Whatever the color
Especially the ones between opposites
Incubus keeps me happy
Along with alkaline trio
And one day
I think I might go for a midnight swim
For whatever the reason.

But There's Still Tomorrow, Forget The Sorrow

i fail at everything.
i want to do.
i can't sing,
i can barely play guitar,
i can't write anything worthwhile,
i can't ever amount to anything.
and fuck this attitude.
it wont get me anywhere.
but fuck me too
cause i'm sick of fucking myself over.
i hate myself even more cause i let you go.
now i dont have anyone to help me through the weeknights.
cause i'm a fucking idiot.
and now i want to die.
even more so then ever.
i dont deserve life.
i dont deserve anyone.
i dont deserve myself.
please just let me die.
i'm willing and ready.
i'm just not willing to say goodbye.

so i'll just say i'm here for now.

Sex.

Isn't that big of a deal.