A Possible Answer

I have an issue where I believe anger is socially unacceptable,
and I taught myself to not get angry at basically anything because I used to get angry a lot,
in the way where I would lash out at anything near me,
but deep inside me,
I feel like one day I'm going to explode like I used to when I was younger,
which scares me,
which makes me believe I have to be in 100% mental control of my emotions,
which makes me anxious,
which makes me feel overwhelmed easily,
which is the reason it's so hard for me to find the effort to do anything,
which is why i'm basically sucking at life right now.

also,
this explains my affinity for those moments in movies and tv shows and animes,
where the characters go full on rage and freak the fuck out,
and use their anger/passion in order to win against whatever their fighting,
because that's what I used to do...
also,
That might be why I like werewolves,
because I feel like I can relate to the inner struggle of containing something inside of you.

that is all.