We're Good People

let me state this.
this blog is not supposed to piss anyone off.
it is merely a reflection on a thought of mine.
if you are offended.
feel free to yell at me.

what defines good?
and what is a good person?
well, i'm going to ignore the philosophical questions
and only question why people say my friends and I are good people.
to me this makes no sense.
are we just better than other people?
from your perspective maybe.
but my friends are
Depressed Heart-breakers to sad to realize what they've got.
Narcissists who can get to angry for their own good.
Controlling Perfectionists who are buried in guilt and insecurities.
Anxiety ridden who can't express emotions so they bury it inside of them.
Druggies.
Sex Addicts.
Liars.
and i'm not excluding myself.
An apathetic suicidal kid who is so disenchanted with life to care about anything in the world, while barely believing he exists, who is unable to do anything productive with life because he's to set on the future being the future. but in reality he's just scared to death.

but.
in the end.
we are considered good people.
damn we have everyone fooled.

2 out of 3 ain't bad.

The bitter sadness that weeps within a soul without a fate hungers for control.

Future

i don't to anyone about my plans for the future.
because i don't want to deal with their views on them.
let me live my life.
i'll make something that I want to make out of it.
okay?
ok.
now leave me be.

I Hate The Days That Come And Go

sometimes.
you wake up hating everything.
and the only remedy is giving your day up to nothingness.

Attack Attack!

i don't understand why people give this band so much such shit.
they're good at what they do.
REALLY GOOD.
yes they're not the most hardcore band out there.
yes their video might be to "hardcore" or whatever.
but who cares?
they make good music.
ORIGINAL MUSIC.
and they did it well.
yes it's screamo, borderline "hardcore", they have heavy electronic influences.
but so what??
it's freaking music.
just because you don't like it doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it.
so i don't care if i'm a fag or whatever.
i'm going to listen to whoever and whatever i damn well please.

Turn And SHOOT.

life sometimes.
makes you turn and shoot.

whatever that means...
just think about it.

Sleepless Days

People should listen to Aly & AJ ;)
They're good.
Pop rock and fun.
But in the relevant world I don't sleep at night anymore. But oh well.
Also I changed the title of the blog to
Live The Fool, Die A Hero.
mostly because of romanticized pictures in my mind. About stories where the person deemed foolish and disregarded sacrifice themselves for their cause or whatever the case is.
And I feel that I relate in my own little ways.
The end

Why aren't you here
Why are you here
I can't decide
Where I want you
Who I want you
How I want you
Will I want you
After tonight
I'm feeling empty
Empty feelings
Are the same
Aren't the same
As one plus one
That's how I feel
I want to be alone
But I want to see you
Hear you, feel you
You're something in my head
That you're not outside
or so it seems
There's nothing to this
That hasn't been said
By someone greater than I
in a myth about a girl
Who had to much to watch out for
And let it all out
HOPE IS GONE
HOPE IS LOST
Or is it now
just something more to look for
Just something more to cry for
Like my eyes bled
I'm hiding now
From a darkness so unattainable
I've lost it now
before a light so heavenly
I don't understand a thing
please let me understand
I WANT TO UNDERSTAND
I WANT TO FEEL
Like a whore who rules the world
Like a politician who fucks the world
Like a dead man smiling
I'm smiling
For you
Just please
Let me be
insane
Or am I sane
or is sanity undefinable
Like love
At least my love
is a poison
Hurting me and you
Like the stem of a rose
I don't want to be grabbed
No I just want to be admired
Like a silhouette on fire
No fuck that I want to be grabbed
And shakedown to the ground
I DON'T WANT TO BE FREE
Release me
And leave me be.
PLEASE BERATE ME
PLEASE BESEECH ME E
WHY DON'T YOU
HOW COULD YOU
WANT ME TO
WITH ME TO
WISH I WAS
COULD HAVE BEEN
LEAVE ME BE
LEAVE ME BE
LEAVE ME BE
LEAVE ME BE
LET ME BE
LET ME BE
LET ME BE
LET ME BE
I'm afraid
To be alone

Broken eyelids

days you don't want to be alive
are the longest of them all.

sorrow comes in more forms then one
as regret and guilt grudgingly grip me into my slumber.